Iíve been really busy lately ó like REALLY busy. Work, school, taking care of the kids and house Ö Iím just completely exhausted. Iíve asked my husband if we could get an extra hand to help around the house, but he doesnít want to hear it. He says that I decided to go back to school and get a part-time job, so it was also decided that I can handle everything. Basically, I made my own bed, now I have to lie in it. This has brought on a series of arguments and tension in the house because Iím doing everything. Once he gets home, he plops on the couch and watches TV as the kids run around the house, while Iím juggling dinner and ensuring every boo boo is tended to and each child gets the attention that they need. Not to mention, once theyíre in bed, I stay up till midnight or later doing schoolwork and get up early in the morning to get the kids ready for school. As you can guess, my husband is old school and thereís no way of changing his mind. What can I do?
Hereís the thing, no one is that good. Iím sorry to break it down like that, but itís the truth. Even if someone appears to have it all together, they donít. They just hide it well. And take it from someone who wants it all, tries to have it all, and pretends to have it all, itís hard work!
But hereís the thing, I have a supportive network (i.e. husband, parents, friends, coworkers) who help me along the way. How many times have you talked about the workload at home with your husband? Have you asked for that ďextra handĒ to be his?
How volatile are your arguments with him on this subject? Have you considered counseling? Having a mediator on this topic may help him see the two sides of the issue. Army Community Service offers many counseling options to military Families. Check out, http://www.fortbraggmwr.com/acs/counseling-options/ for more information.
Most importantly, if you feel like you canít handle it all and are stressed out, maybe you need to step back and re-evaluate your life goals. Maybe work or school isnít possible at this stage of your life. It doesnít mean you canít ever do it, but maybe when the kids are in school itíll be easier for you to juggle all of your lifeís dreams. Itís just a thought and good luck!
(Editorís note: Sharilyn Wells really doesnít know much about anything, but sheíll definitely share her opinion with you whenever needed. To get a Ďstraight upí opinion to your countless issues, email firstname.lastname@example.org)