In just about every Hollywood war movie there is a scene where a Soldier, usually with his last breath, passes a note to his battle buddy and breathlessly says, “Give this to my wife and tell her I love her.”
In Dana Canedy’s best selling book, “A Journal for Jordan,” the notes from 1st Sergeant Charles M. King were real and were meant as a guide for their son Jordan.

King started the 200 entry journal for Jordan soon after receiving orders for his unit’s deployment to Iraq.

“I gave Charles a journal before he left for Iraq and asked him to write our son some words of encouragement,” said Canedy, a Pulitzer Prize editor with the New York Times. “I never imagined he would write so much.”

As Canedy read the journal, she saw three things repeat itself throughout it, King’s belief in the power of prayer, his love of military service and his respect for women.

“What stood out as I wrote this is there were trends that came out in the journal,” Canedy said. “There were things Charles wrote over and over again and that told me there were things he wanted to emphasize for Jordan.“

“Chivalry is not dead. A gentleman is someone who treats a woman with respect. A gentleman is always in defense mode for his woman. He will never let any harm come to her and he will never do any harm to her.”

Besides his personal beliefs and values, King used his experiences in the war to teach life lessons to Jordan.

“This is how he lived,” said Canedy. “It’s examples after example of the kind of integrity, decency and character he had and that was true whether he was courting a woman or taking care of his Soldiers.”

In one passage, King writes how none of his Soldiers wanted to attend the memorial for two Soldiers who died in another company. He used this experience to teach Jordan about honor.
“I told them it was selfish of them not to pay their respects to two men who were selfless in giving their lives for their country. Things may not always be easy or pleasant for you, that’s life, but always pay your respect for the way people lived and what they stood for. It’s the honorable thing to do.”

What started out as a way for Canedy to channel her grief at the passing of King in October 2006, became much more to people throughout the world.

“I wrote this book for a very selfish reason,” Canedy said. “I needed to do something with my grief. I wanted to create something for my son and I wanted to honor Charles.”

Canedy said she is glad that King’s words have been able to touch so many people.

“I have had people from all over the world write me or call me about the book, and they all find different thinks about the book that moved or touched them. Soldiers are particularly moved by the kind of first sergeant he was and the length to which he went to be a good leader. Women tend to be moved by the passages on how he was to women or the brief two weeks Charles got to meet Jordan,” she said.

Jordan, who was just months old when his father met him will find out more about him than most sons know about their fathers.

“I use to read some of the journal to him but he has been living with my grief and this book since he was born, and I have actually gotten to a point where I don’t think it is healthy for him to be this close to it. He is going to know his dad. But I think he just needs to be a little boy for now. There will be a time when if he wants to read the journal he can. But for now what he needs is his coloring books and time in the park,” Canedy said.

“I will do my best to make you and your mother proud of me. I will always be proud of you, my son. Be strong, take care of your family, and live life well. I love you and I love your mother. God bless.”