Itís hard to sit in a place of confusion and try to write a commentary of clarity.
At this time in my life, I know what Iím doing from day-to-day, but I donít know what Iím doing in the long run.
This isnít a woe-is-me commentary, but itís an honest revelation that sometimes the answers elude me.
When I think things are going to proceed one way, they turn in a completely different direction.
I have two sons ó as soon as I get one child to do right, the other does the opposite. Thatís not easy.
My boys are the joy of my life, but they, too, give me enough gray hair to help keep my hairdresser in business.
Iím sure itís retribution for my rebellious streak and heartache I gave mother in my late teens.
Life seems to be about opposites. I worry for Family and friends struggling to win their battle with cancer; Iím happy my husband is a survivor.
Iím thinking about deactivating my Facebook account, but I use it to keep in touch with Family. The jury is still out on this one, folks.
If I read one more story about photographers or writers being laid off, Iíll scream. The newspaper industry is changing to meet the growing needs of an electronic market. But how I long for the days when people couldnít do without the morning paper and a cup of coffee around a breakfast table used by an actual Family.
Iím not trying to be harsh or pessimistic. Iím just in a funk.
And itís not a good place.
When I get to a better place, Iíll be sure to write a more positive, cheery commentary.
Until then, I yield to whatever I type.
Hope it isnít irresponsible. Hope it isnít a turn-off.
Iíll call it a mid-life crisis or blues during a difficult time.
In fairness, I tend to get this way in the fall and winter. I was a preemie, born three months early, who, early on, got used to light and warmth. Fall is tough.
Catch me in the summer when the waves are crashing, the air is light, the birds are humming, the days are long and Iíve got Bob Marley blaring from my car speakers. Iím sure that commentary will be more uplifting.