October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, itís about the prevention of violence among couples, including physical abuse and bullying/controlling.

One of the biggest questions couples struggle with is how they can resolve issues without having huge blow ups that make things worse.

One of the toughest things with couples who have been together any amount of time is they can become experts in pushing each otherís buttons. Many couples are amazed when an often simple conversation gets crazy and they often have no idea how it happened. Other partners know very well how to use certain tactics to ďwinĒ the argument, often at the expense of their mate.

Know the difference between complaining, criticism and contempt

Keep it to one subject per argument

Pick your moment. Timing is everything. If your partner is already struggling to cope with a hard day, then delay until they are settled. The dishes can wait. Value your relationship higher than a single issue. If there never seems to be the right time, then you have a bigger issue to address.

Start as you would like it to end

Poke out your tongue

Too much, too much

Do your best not to stonewall

You are not alone

For couples having troubles related to raising children, Army Community Service offers a wide variety of parenting and couples workshops, parent-child play mornings and free, new parent support nurse home visitors who can provide parenting information and support to new or expecting parents anywhere in a 90 mile radius of Fort Bragg.

If things have gotten out of control and dangerous in your relationship and you need help, you can call the Fort Bragg Victim Hotline at 322-3418 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.