My husband returned from Afghanistan a couple months ago. I feel, even though this was his second deployment, he came back different. He doesnít want to sleep in the same bed with me, he locks the door to our guest room at night ó where he sleeps now, and isnít as outgoing as he was before. My husband isnít the same man that I married 3 years ago. I donít know what to do. He wonít talk about it with me and gets angry when I suggest speaking to a counselor. Iím starting to get really concerned, especially since our first child is due to be born in a month.

Concerned Wife

Dear Concerned,

You really need to get him to a counselor. I know you said he gets angry when you suggested this, but how about suggesting a marriage counselor? That way both of you are put on the spot instead of just him? It could lessen the embarrassment or burden he may associate with a counselor.

Have you talked to anyone about this? Iím not saying you need to run to his chain of command, but Iím pretty sure the chaplainís office (or your Family readiness group) can help you find programs that are available to you and him.† What about a close, military friend that he could talk to? He may respond differently talking with someone who knows what he went through. He may not be talking with you because of numerous reasons. He may not want to tell you what he saw or went through protect you. He may not want to scare you. He may not think youíll understand him; or he may just think thereís nothing wrong. But you do need to get him to talk to someone.

At the Family and Morale, Welfare and Recreation website, youíll find a lot of programs that are offered to military Families dealing with deployment, redeployment and in between. Check out, for more information on military Family life consultants, chaplains, education, and events. Army Community Service is here for you and your Family, use them. Iím not a doctor or a psychiatrist, but I can tell you Ö your husband needs to talk with someone, and if itís not you, then someone else.

Good luck.

(Editorís note: Sharilyn Wells really doesnít know much about anything, but sheíll definitely share her opinion with you whenever needed. To get a Ďstraight upí opinion to your countless issues, email