This will be the first year I get to spend Christmas as husband and wife. I married my husband last year in November Ö he deployed a few weeks later for 8 months. I spent my Christmas back home with my Family, as I didnít want to be alone for the holiday. This year, my husbandís Family wants us to visit Ö my Family also wants us to visit and youíve guessed it, I want to see my parents and he wants to see his. We canít find any common ground and itís really causing an issue with our marriage. What should we do?

Holiday Woes

Dear Holiday Woes,

However, if you absolutely need to go to a parentsí home, one of you is going to have to give. Marriage is all about compromise. Maybe this year you go to his Family and next year, go to yours. I mean, think about it, he has been deployed, his Family hasnít spent a Christmas with him in awhile Ö you went home last year. I personally think going to his parentsí place this year wonít kill you. But, you have to decide that as a couple. Talk it out. How does going to your Familyís place benefit you as a couple? Is it cheaper to travel there? Do you see them more often then his parents? If you can travel to your parentsí house, just down the road for Christmas, then you can travel there for Easter, birthdays, Thanksgiving, etc.

Iíve had to make pretty hard decisions about holiday travel too. Both, my Family, as well as my husbandís Family are in the western part of the country. Plane ticket prices are atrocious! Iíve decided that because my husband is deploying soon, he needs to go back to his parentsí house, no matter the cost ó but we canít afford three plane tickets. Iím going to stay home while my Family flies across the country. Not everyone will agree with that Ö but as a Family, we agreed upon those terms. Thatís what being a Family is all about ó compromise.

Good luck.

(Editorís note: Sharilyn Wells really doesnít know much about anything, but sheíll definitely share her opinion with you whenever needed. To get a Ďstraight upí opinion to your countless issues, email